Thursday, May 30, 2013

Forgiveness, what a wonderful concept

Here begins another challenge in my life. Forgiveness can mean so many things to so many people.I find I am a very forgiving person,however lately I'm not so sure.To forgive one doesn't mean you forget what they have done.If you can forget what one has done do you truly forgive them? Holding on though can be hurtful and hard to move on from the past.But what if you are the one who has moved past but the other person cannot or they constantly remind you of not so good of choices you made? What if this person is family? I am also trying to realize how important it is to be there for my family now but how can one tell one that holding on makes one not want to be around.The biggest challenge for forgiveness I have right now is with the Lord.I am so angry with him.I want to believe that he doesn't give one more that they can handle but I am at my breaking point.I can handle my brother being sick,me having Lupus, but I cannot handle my moms cancer returning.With many sleepless nights and feeling so lost forgiveness just isn't coming. What am i supposed to be learning? To cherish life thank you but I already know this.Although Mom said to me I want to have a real mother daughter relationship with you.I don't want you to feel overwhelmed and I don't want you to feel I'm trying to run your life.I just want to be your mother/friend. Upon all this heartbreak a relationship can blossom.So I guess I ill work on forgiving him and spend as much time as I have with my Mom,who doesn't know it but is someone I admire.

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