Cherub's New Lease on Life

Heard a Song.., Made me think of you

2011-11-29T20:53:00.003-08:00

Heard this song and it made me think of you, yet again it is the time of year for the hustle and bustle of Christmas.With this brings people always in a hurry to go where, I don't know? With this brings rudeness, no patience and least of all understanding.Why the happiest time of the year is filled with less than love is beyond my understanding.It has been a very long time since you've been gone on thet christmas morning but you have never been forgotten. For I wish that you were here with me now. That you could have been here all these years ,that you could have been here to have seen your great gradchildren almost all grown up. I know how you loved christmas.I know how you felt family was the most important thing. I know how you always told me that love is the heart of the world.That all the riches in the world didnt mean anything without love.As I've gotten older i've come to realize just how right you were there is nothing more important than love. Love does make the world go round. I miss you Grandpa!!!

Thankful Thursday!!!

2011-11-03T03:04:00.001-07:00

Have you ever thought wow am I ever going to see the light at the end of the tunnel?It has been a year since my last post and so much has happened that has made me be especially thankful.
I am so thankful everyday that the drs caught my mom's colon cancer and were able to remove it. Mom says that they got it all and she is going to be ok.I want to believe it however I just can't yet.
I am thankful for being able to have taken my Mom to all her treatments and blood work on tues and weds every two weeks for almost a year, for that is a time i will always cherish.
I am thankful to still have my brother with us for he almost passed three times last year.For those that don't know my Brother has Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy.
I am so thankful that during this very low time in my lfe I was able to build a great relationship with my sisters,who are my Dad's girls.(remarried)
I am so thankful for Gods 's love patience and understanding with me as there have been many times over the past year where I was at a loss.
I am so thankful for my many friends who were beside me everyday sending me love encouraging words, hope and just being there during my familys darkest ours.
I am so very thankful that we were all together for thanksgiving, when a year ago I wasnt sure that would be possible.

Thankful Thursday!!!

2010-07-15T10:00:00.002-07:00

I know what it means to be thankful as I practise thankfulness everyday but sometimes it feels good to acknowledge what we are truly thankful for.I love to sit and reflect what I'm thankful for.
I'm thnkful for my family and the time i get to spend with them even if it is in the hospital or the drs.
I'm thankful for the chemo treatments that mom is recieving to help her get better!
I'm thnksful for wonderful friends who in this storm are there just to listen.
I'm thankful for the sun we have been getting first year i actually got a tan without trying.
I'm thankful for new things that come into my life good or bad!
I'm thankful for my many blogger friends who lend an ear or a few incouraging words!!
So until next week Blessings!!!Hugs!!!

A season is a season,,,,

2010-07-13T09:42:00.002-07:00

We are always told that things come in seasons but when you see those seasons happen and change right in front of your eyes it is sometimes overwhelming.I always have believed that things happen for a reason and it is out of my control.That God doesn't give us anything we can't handle but what if he does? Then what? Recently i have felt that i have been given too much too handle and i haven't been quite sure how to deal with it all.
After almost losing my baby brother(22)he is 15 years younger than me my family has been faced with yet another surgery for him.He has two options and one is operate on his vocal cords and he will not have a voice.
the second is move his feeding tube from where it is to his small intestine,which is very risky and he may not be strong enough to come out of the surgery this time. my mom has started chemotherapy after having surgery for colon cancer.the surgery was successful however with the chemo treatments she is tired and we don't know what the future may hold.
My heart condition is still being worked out and has resulted with me being on medication for it for the rest of my life.
But with all of this going on it has been so hard to not be mad,angry,sad and that is where my depression as come in.For the first time in my life trying to be strong has been the hardest thing for me to do.I know that this will all pass and in time we will move into another season but in the mean time can't i say that this is just too much!!! blessings everyone till thursday!!!

Thankful thursday!!

2010-06-04T00:43:00.002-07:00

Greeting my loved ones in the world of blogging!! I have so many things to be thankful to report this week so sorry if I'm off topic.
For many of you know we almost lost my brother to hid fight with duchenne muscular dystrophy. on the 16Th!! of May.Then i recently discovered i do in fact have my dad's heart condition which was fortunately found to a reaction to an antidepressant.My family had just about had enough when my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and i am proud to say that surgery on the 31st was a success,just awaiting to find out about kemo now!!
How we also received so very good news with my significant other,his mom's cancer is now in remission,all the while he was in Ontario for all my family's rough three weeks!!I am so very thankful for the wonderful doctors whose hands are in god's.I am thankful for modern medicine and for my Dr's faith in not giving up on my heart.Yes there could be a near surgery.
I am so very thankful for all the love and support everyone has shown our family!!
Blessings night all til next week!!hugs thankyou for being so open and listening and being a friend!!

Thankful Thursday

2010-05-27T15:32:00.001-07:00

I gone honestly say that im struggling with not being mad with your heavenly father.
The past week and a half have been very struggling for my family.
My brother who is 22 almost passed away and i know that he won't be struggling anymore but why?? Then i started a new medication,which brought out an underlying heartcondition, so hopefully i don't end up in ht hospital with heart surgery(20th) when it started.To make matters worse my mom has been diagnosed with colon cancer her surgery is on the 31st.
Even though all of this is happening my faith is not shaken and i am thankful for the dr's care and compassion.
I am thankful for my friends that are there.
I am thankful for the love that our father in heaven has for me.
I am thankful for the bits of peace that he has given me.
I am thankful for his healing!!! blessings!!!

Why more challenges!!

2010-05-24T21:34:00.002-07:00

Well I must say that May has brought my family many challenges.Many which are making me wonder does God really only give us more than we can handle? My Mom who is my brother and i's rock has finally got her tests back and it has been confirmed that she has colon cancer!On sunday may 16th my brother almost passed away. I started a new medication that shot my heart rate sky high on tuesday the 18th of may and now it has been found that i possibly have my dad's heart condition,which almost took his life at 48.I am beyond scared but i know that I am not alone and nothing is in my control.Sorry for such a sad report but i feel so broken,lost,angry and sad!!!Wishing you all a wonderful week!!!Blessings!!!!!

Thankful Thursday!!!

2010-04-29T11:50:00.002-07:00

Wow where did April go??
I must say that April has been a month that has brought alot of joy,pain and sorrow for my family!
The beginning of April brought a move into a new place for my family which has been exciting and filled with adventure. I fell down our stairs and was off work and laid up for about two weeks,and I'm thankful that I didn't break anything!!I am now back at work off my crutches and my leg is a beautiful rainbow of colors! My fall brought a new level of patience and grace for me,You know it is so hard to realize that your way of doing things isn't necessarily someone Else's.
April brought excellent grades for my children in school I am so thankful that their hard work payed off!!Couldn't be prouder of my children!
I am thankful for the miracles of modern medicine and still am praying that my mom will be ok,I know our relationship has been strained.
I am thankful for God who is allowing the healing to partake in our lives!
I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have who no matter what Love me.
I am thankful for the sunshine that we have been given.
I am thankful to have such a forgiving Father who has shown me the way and who will never leave my side no matter what the storm may be!!!
I am thankful for the many friends I have who take the time to read my blog or just stop by and say hi!!!

Have you ever..,

2010-04-27T15:25:00.002-07:00

felt so completly alone as if noone understands you? I ahve been feeling that way alot and im not sure why?For i know that I am never truly alone.Sometimes I just want to crawl back into bed and hide under the covers for it all to pass.The struggles I am going through right now I now are going to pass with time.I know that God doesn't give me anything I can't handle but why does it always have to be at the same time?
My mom asked me just after my uncle passsed away if I believe what a coworker of hers does?9 we got to the same church)I said yes!She asked me how i could!I said because I believe.I have blindfaith and believe in the power of prayer.I also believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins.I told her i know that is is hard to not understand but how does she not know that my brother is still here with us because I pray every night for one more day with him?!Those who don't know my baby brother has duchenne's Muscular dystrophy and is only 22.I wholeheartdly believe my prayers are being answered.She has also asked how i can have peace with my illness,my son's,my dad's and possibly hers?I told her it is not in my control and once i realized that the peace came!!!

Thankful thursday!!!

2010-04-22T16:11:00.002-07:00

center>center
Wow I must say I truly love spring,even though that was when i tumbled down my stairs and have been on crutches the whole time.So as luck would have it i finally get outside to rain!!Isn't the Lord funny!!!Spring is such a beautiful time to get outside and just be one with God!
This week I am thankful for the sunshine and the warmth that it brings.
I am thankful for the birds cheerful songs in the morning!
I am thankful for the happiness the sun puts in my heart!
I am thankful for the new growth we get to witness!
I am thankful for clear warm nights,and stars that shine oh so bright!!
I am so very thankful for my family,friends who love me for me!!!
So everyone get outside and enjoy the sun..,Blessings!!!!
Yes, i will bless the Lord and not forget the glorious things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins.He heals me. Psalm 103:2-3

Thankful Thursday!!!

2010-04-16T10:51:00.001-07:00

Well here I am again a day late!!
I went to church last Thursday and the sermon was on discernment.It has been a long time since i have even heard the church talk about this subject.I for one am so glad that was spoke of.I know that with everyday life we all get so busy and caught up that this is often forgotten.
This week I am thankful for family and many of you who follow my blog know that we are awaiting test results for my mom to come back negative!!
I am thankful for my wonderful children who are helping me so very much in my time of need,as i have fallen down my stairs and have limited mobility!!
I am thankful for the wonderful sunshine and warm weather even though i can't really get out to enjoy it!!
I am thankful for my wonderful friends who love me for being me even if that means loving my clumsiness!! Till next week,blessings.., hugs!!

Thankful Thursday!!!

2010-03-25T12:06:00.002-07:00

Oh I have so much to be thankful for as it has been so long since i posted!
I am thankful for my children who love me unconditionally even when i know i don't deserve it.
I am thankful for wonderful friends with whom i would be lost without.
I am thankful for the bond i am rebuilding with my mom.
I am so thankful that I have found a new place to move into in time.
I am thankful that when i died my hair this time it didn't go burgundy again,OK i know that is silly but i am.
I am thankful for the beautiful weather we are having,spring is here!!
I am thankful for long talks and quiet evenings with my someone special!!
I am thankful for my son's good grades in school!
I am thankful for the air i breathe each and everyday.
I am thankful for our fathers love and grace that we recieve each and every day!!
Blessings!!!

Time for spring cleaning!!!

2010-03-23T21:20:00.003-07:00

Wow i must post must post.., I must begin by saying that i usually love spring cleaning however this year I'm moving like on Sat.So i should be thankful that it will be easier as I am acomplishing two things at once.It is just i really really don't like moving!!Anyhow my tests finally came back and my liver is failing not sure what that totally means but it now explains my son's doing tha same thing.I found this song and fell in love with it,so here it is...............

Long time since my last post..,

2010-01-20T21:31:00.003-08:00

Have you ever been so scared that you don't really know what to do?The last month and a half i have been having pains in my back and side and stomach. Well i finally went to the dr's and they did lots of blood work and other tests,to only get called to have to go back in.Some of my tests have come in and it isn't good.So now i'm thinking why did i wait so long?
I never wanted a life with regret but i have one regret.A dear family friend passed away yesterday. I only went to see him once in the last month.I couldn't bring myself to go back and see him it just hurt too much and i wish i had been there everyday.I keep thinking what kind of friend was I.
He taught my brother and i soo very much.He believed in me and my dreams even when i didn't.He was always there to talk to, to listen to,he was supportive and understanding and loving.And now he is gone and the pain is so overwhelming.I will always remember our motorcycle rides.I will always remember his smile,laugh and his kind and gentle heart.

Thankful Thursday.., ahh i'm a day late again!!!

2009-11-20T05:54:00.002-08:00

Well this week I'm late due to a sinus cold,which is taking forever to go away.
I am so thankful for so much each and every day that sometimes it is hard to write down what i am most thankful for..,
I am so very thankful for the life i have been given,to be able to wake up knowing I am not alone.
I am thankful for my two wonderful,loving and caring children, with whom are my entire world.
I am thankful for my two beautiful sisters and my amazing brother.
I am thankful for the blossoming relationship with my mom.
I am thankful for my home church and all my wonderful family that I miss so very much each and everyday.
I am so very thankful for the simple things in life!!!
Blessings!!!
I leave you all with this

I finally got the courage..,

2009-11-16T23:10:00.002-08:00

After a long break from church i finally had the courage to go back.It wasn't because I didn't want to.It was because I moved away from my home church,from what was familiar and was and always will be family.As i got ready yesterday i wanted to not go but there was like a pull telling me to go.So i went and was i glad i did as it was my pastor's last Sunday here before returning home.I had been feeling lost, cranky and was missing something.Now i know what i was missing.I never realized what a big part my beliefs play in my life until now. I don't know why sometimes we think we can do better on our own without God.I certainly can't I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and it is all in god's timing.Why with the things that have happened in my life lately the good an bad I know i just need to trust in him.For no harm will come. i leave you with
Phillipians 4:11-13
I want to learn to be content in whatever circumstances I am in.Whether I am abased or in abundance,whether I am filled or hungry,I want to learn the secret of being content in any and situation.
I can do all things through Him who strenghtens me.

tell me why??

2009-11-08T20:19:00.000-08:00

My Parents!!!!

2009-11-08T19:41:00.002-08:00

Someone wise once told me that you can't pick your parents.How does one overcome ones parents.For me growing up I didn't have the normal two parent home,i had four.My Dad left my mom just two weeks before my 13th birthday.It wasn't till that summer that the truth came out and it had devasting effects.The trust i had for someone who was my bestfriend was shattered.I have forgiven but i can't and oh i wish i could.I went to live with my Dad when i was 16 due to certain circumstances only to be asked to move out when i was 17 and pregnant.I pretty much have been alone without my parents that is. I was 15 when my brother and sister were born they are not twins but are 27 days apaart.I was 21 when my baby sister was born.As I have gotten older i have realized that my parents only did the best that they could for they were young when they had me.With my Dad realizing this doesn't help with the void i feel and i'm left with why don't you love me? Why haven't you been there?Why don't you want to know your grandchildren? All these questions come by honestly as my Dad is sick!I'm left to wonder if I will ever get the answers to the questions I'm asking.When can i come home and see you?
With my mom i know that her life has been anything but easy!She works fulltime and takes care of my brother who is terminally ill,and at the end of the day doesn't have much time for anything else.I know that when i went to move in with my dad i hurt her.It is something she never forgave me for and it shows in our relationship for she wasn't there either.She wasn't there when my children were born and has missed out on so much. I have questions for her to. Is why didn't you love me unconditionally like a mom is suppossed to? Why weren't you there?Why did it take me moving back for us to build our bond?However with my mom we now live in the same town again and we are slowly reparing our realionship.
My dad is doing as good as he can.I pray everyday for his forgiveness and not a day goes by that i don't think of him.My mom has me worried I only pray that right now she is overwhelmed and is forgetting things and buying as a cause of that and not somewthing more swerious.I feel that at the present time I am losing both my parents and brother all at the same time.

OOPS!!!!

2009-10-22T18:41:00.001-07:00

Wow am I tired I went to post my post and i forgot to post what i posted!!!Silly me!!!Well i sit here every week and really put a lot of thought into what I am thankful for.This week im thankful for so many different things.
I am thankful for the better developing relationship with my mom.Not too many of you know but I was so angry with my mom when my dad left us.I know I was 12 but i blames her and i never should have.Then the truth came out and the anger shifted.Over the years we have both hurt each other so much to thep point that i never thought there would be forgiveness.
I am so very thankful for modern medicine as without it my clinical depression would not be getting better with each and everyday.I am thankful for my wonderful doctor who explained why i have to take my medication.I do not produce the chemical seritonin which is outr bodies happy drug.Like a diebetic i need to take it to have my body work right.So for that I thank you!
I am thankful for my children's health!
I am thankful for wonderful friends who through thick and thin will always be there.
I am thankful for my job when in today's world so many people don't have one.
I am thankful for the love,and gifts from our heavenly father!!
I leave with this
Colossians3:16," Let the words of Christ,in all their riches,live in your hearts and make you wise.Use his words to teachand counsel each other.Sing psalms and hymns andspiritual songs to God with thankful hearts"

Thankful thursday!!!

2009-10-22T18:40:00.000-07:00

Honesty!!!

2009-10-20T16:22:00.002-07:00

Honesty shouldn't be so hard to have.Honestly i would rather know than not.Believe me it is always better to confess than let the person find out on their own or through other means.It takes alot of someone to admit when they have done something wrong through dishonesty and a weak person to not to.Whatever the reason all can be forgiven.But you have to forgive yourself first.I know this all too well.

Trust!!!

2009-10-18T10:43:00.002-07:00

Is something that i value as a very important trait and i have failed at times and have hurt people that meant so very much to me!I am often told that im too nice,too trusting and naive.That in itself has gotten me into trouble.When did being a nice person bring so much heartache inot ones life?Why do people look at that as a weakness and not a strength?I am often told to grow a backbone and really look at people in a different light.However i can't as i still want to believe in the good of every person no matter what!!!I strongly believe that it isn't for me to judge anyone,only our heavenly father can judge.I also pride myself on honesty and being a good person something i have never walked away from and yet again i find it is something that people take advantage of.Why i don't know.As my life has taken so many twists and turns lately I never know what to expect anymore.I do know that no matter what it is god's plan and everything is for a reason!!!Blessings

Thankful thursday!!!! My Riches!!!!

2009-10-15T17:55:00.002-07:00

When I sit and think about my riches are i know right away.
My Two important riches to me are my two children that God gave me to watch over and guide.I can only hope that I have not disappointed our father.I know that being physically healthy is one of my riches as my brother is 22 and has Ducehenne's Muscular Dystrophy.His whole time here with us has been nothing but suffering,hospitals and doctors.However hard it has been on him he always smiles and laughs and inspires me everyday to just be!! Although time will only tell when my illness(fanconi anemia)will change.Until then..,
My other Riches include my family who is scattered everywhere.I believe that the biggest riches we all have if we so choose is the love,guidance,patience,and forgiveness we receive from our heavenly father.Blessings!!!

It snowed!!! Ok but it was only a dusting!!!

2009-10-14T07:29:00.002-07:00

Well i know it is only autumn but i love snow!!!I love how it makes everything so bright and pretty!!I love going for walks,making snow angels and having snowball fights!I hope it snows so very much i'm looking forward to a very white christmas!!!And yes i said it our christmas season is falling upon us.Blessings!!!

Thankful thursday!!!

2009-10-08T12:08:00.002-07:00

Well for me living in Canada I am coming into our Thanksgiving weekend and this year it is going to be quite different.First of all I am going to be cooking it but having it at my mom's. I haven't been home for thanksgiving in 5 years so it is extra special to me as it is one more holiday that we have with my brother.Over the past two weeks it has been very interesting.My son got sick then gave it to me and for some reason i ended up with bronchitis and i can tell you one thing does my chest ever hurt to breath.Then i discover my bank card has been stolen and lost everything in my bank account.Then i drop my blow dryer on my foot and break one of my toes and yes this hurts so very much.We also celebrated my son's 15th birthday over the weekend which i wish had been a whole lot better but there is next year!!!
I have said it before and i will say it again,I believe we do not need one day earmarked for giving thanks as it should be an everyday occurrence!!
This week I am most thankful for family!
I am thankful for the best friends i could ever ask for!
I am thankful for the rest my family is allowing me to have and all the help they are giving me(who would have thought a broken toe could slow you down so much)
I am thankful for the love ,grace that god has given me!

Loving this song!!!!!

2009-09-17T11:40:00.001-07:00

Is it really that time already? How awesome is that!!!!

2009-09-17T11:08:00.002-07:00

This week I thought I would start off with one of my favorite Scriptures!!
The hour has come for me to wake up from sleep,for my salvation is nearer now than when I first believed.The night is nearly over; the day is almost here.Therefore I will cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Romans 13:11-12

As usual I have alot to be thankful for but the one thing I most thankful for is tha patience that God has given me in the situation of dealing with my son's schooling.My son will be atrtinf school finally even though it is only on a part time bases it is still better than not going at all.So off to school tomorrow!!!
I am thankful to be living in the same city as my family again,and for the first while I would call my Mom and my stepdad would say you know you can come visit now instead of calling
I am so very thankful that my daughter has chosen to go back to school to better herself.
I am also so very thankful that she is slowly starting to come around and realizing that I only did what i thought was best for her and her brother.
I am so very thankful that I no longer feel that I have no say in my life and that I am realizing that I am a survivor!!!
I am so very very thankful for the new washer and dryer that my roomate purchased for our house no more laundrymats!!!
I am so very thankful that I can believe in love again.
I am so very thankful for the wonderful sunny day we are going to have!!!
I am so very thankful for the many friends i have who love me for me!!!
Blessings everyone!!!!

Thankful Thursday!!!

2009-09-10T16:37:00.002-07:00

Well I can honestly say that it has been a very interesting couple of days.I have gone back to work as a home care aide and am loving it.Still waiting to see if my son has a school to go to as of yet.
This week I am so thankful for my wonderful friends,who are there even when i want to shut the world out.
I am thankful that my daughter,son and my someone special were able to all celebrate my brother's birthday together something i haven't done since he was 1 and he is now 22.
I am thankful to have been able to turn my job situation around when i was let go for no reason at all..,hmm wonder what it was?
I am thankful that fall is coming,cause that means snow!!!Everyweek I have so much to be thankful for but recently my son's behaviour is something i am so thankful for!!!He helps everyone and anyone.One day we were shopping and he held the door open for an elderly lady and smiled and she smiled back and on our way home he said you know mom i proably made her day.That one simple gesture of kindeness still sits with me!!Children are wonderful!!Blessings everyone!!!

Oops life has kept me ..,

2009-09-05T11:27:00.002-07:00

Life has been very unpredictable lately in so many ways.The first i was let go of my new job as an office manager for no reason at all.Which for me is even harder to understand as i don't like unanswered questions.All i can say is with that job it taught me a lot about people and how too trusting can actually be a bad thing.The second trying to get my son registered for school as been a very interesting task as schoool starts on wednesday and ths school in our area may or may not have a spot for him.We find out on wednesday though.Back on the job front though I have gone back into my field as a home care nurse and have already gained employment,back to work wednesday!!!My daughter is doing amazing she just went back to school and is working full time too,couldn't be prouder.After having so many struggles with my son in school i am so proud of him and it was nice to hear that he wants to go back to school.The other day was my brother's 22nd birthday and for those of you who know me it is another milestone for him and being there to celebrate with our family was awesome!!!So as i strive for balance and structure in our new life at times it can be hard and lonely and at times i feel a little lost but at the end of the day i couldn't be happier!! Blessings Everyone!!!

Wow It is Thursday!!!!!

2009-08-06T21:43:00.002-07:00

The past two weeks have been very interesting for me.After alot of sorrow came alot of happiness.I now have a new job as office manager at a courier company and i couldn't be happier.Over the long weekedn my cousin whom i hadn't seen in 20 years came to visit.It was really weird seeing him again cause the last time we saw each other we were the children and now we have children of our own.Along with the happiness though came sadness as my Dad is making plans for one last hunting trip with my uncle and within that trip he is saying goodbye to friends and loved ones.Not too sure how i feel or how i should be feeling!
However no matter how rough things get in my life I know that God will never leave my side,for it is with his grace that i get by everyday.
I am thankful for my family,
I am thankful for my friends,
I am thankful for the lovely sunny weather we have been having.
I am thankful to have seen my cousin again,20 years was too long.
I am thankful for the wonderful opportunity i have been given when it comes to my new job.
I am thankful for modern medicine as i have strep throat and to those of you who have never had it.., it really hurts!!
Blessings!!!!

Thankful Thursday!!!

2009-07-15T18:46:00.002-07:00

I am a person with strong faith and belive all things happen for a reason but lately my faith is being tested in ways I never thought possible.I believe in the power of prayer even though i have a quiet voice and prefer to pray in the privacy of my own home.Lately trying to believe in all things happen for a reason and it is not in my control has become a struggle.With the death of a very close family friend and im left wondering why? God why? Why do you take away people who mean so much to us,who have left imprints on our hearts forever?I know seasons!!!I know that my past couple of posts have been sad and i apologize for that it is just where I am right now.So friday im off to say goodbye to a great person with whom has left foot prints on my heart forever.
I am thankful for God's grace even when I am angry with him
I am thankful for the best family I could ever ask for!
I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have who even in my darkest hours are there!
I am thankful for the wonderful opportunites I have been givin!
I am thankful for my two wonderful children that i have been givin to watch over,guide,love.
I am thankful for my children's love each and everyday even on days when i know i've let them down.
I am so very thankful for the wonderful people who offer scripture,understanding and heartfelt words of encouragement within the Thankful Thursday group. Blessings!!!!

Ups and downs!!!

2009-07-14T22:48:00.002-07:00

Wow who would have thought that life would hold soo many ups and downs,well not me!!I always wondered what it would be like to be an adult when i was growing up.I never thought being a grownup would be this hard but at the same time i wouldn't change a thing.If it wasn't for everything i have been through and done I wouldn't be who I am now.I believe that your life experiences shape who you become.I don't believe that your mistakes or your past shape who you are.As you have the control and the choice to either rise above or not to.

I know it is an older song.., but so true to how im feeling

2009-07-14T22:38:00.000-07:00

Thankful Thursday!!!!!

2009-07-08T17:59:00.002-07:00

Hi Everyone..,hmm must say that the theme for this week is a real tough one for me as I am going through a divorce.So for me I am going to go off topic.I hope you all understand.This week my faith has really been tested I have suffered a loss and can't seem to wrap my head around it.I know that all things happen for a reason and that God is in control but is it really alright for me to be angry with God?So i thought i would put it in writing why I am thankful for God!
I am thankful for his unconditional love
I am thankful for his gift of life,
I am thankful for the truth within his word,
I am thankful for the many gifts he has givin me,
I am thankful for his forgiveness,
I am thankful for his patience,understanding!! Blessings

2009-07-02T11:04:00.001-07:00

oops a second post,i didn't check out the theme first!!

2009-07-02T10:42:00.002-07:00

I am very thankful for the freedom we have each and everyday.Without the freedom we have each and everyday of our lives there is soo much we wouldn't be able to do.But i believe we must remember where our freedom comes from and how we still hvae it.Yes I am talking about all the wars that have been fought over time,going back to the very first war and the war going on today.When i think of freedom I think of all the soliders who have losat their lives for one simple word that means so much.I think of their loved ones whoin a blink of an eye are left to rebuild thier lives.I am so thankful for the men ansd women who put their lives on the line each and everyday for my freedom.

It is that time of week again..thankful thursday!!!

2009-07-02T10:07:00.002-07:00

Well i woke up this morning feeling really sick,which i am to the sun shining so i am thinking it really can't be all that bad.I mean i woke up didn't i.So needless to say not much is going to get done today unless napping counts.I have alot of reasons to be thankful but lately I keep thinking how thankful i am that i beautiful friends who love me and understand me.However there are 4 very dear friends that i have that without them my days and nights would not be so bright.They have seen me at my best and my worst and never once have judged me,they love me believe in me and are there for me.And they know the feelings are in return.They know no matter what i will be there for them on any given day.As i sit and write this it doesn't matter whether we are in the same town or not a day doesn't go by where i think hm wonder what they are doing,would like this,would they do this?Life can be hard as we all know but having them in my life makes it that much easier.
Im not going into a post of other things im thankful for this week as this is what is on my heart today when i think of what im most thankful for this week.

Dear friends,we should love each other,because love comes from God.Everyone who loves has becomes God child and knows God.Whoever does not love does not know God,because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

one of my fav!!!

2009-06-30T10:32:00.000-07:00

All moved!!!

2009-06-30T09:56:00.002-07:00

Our move went well considering all that was said and done.Jord and i now reside in Prince George and we couldn't be happier.It has been a week and a half since the move and Jord has already made friends.I too have made friends.The biggest plus to moving back is being near my baby brother who many of you know is terminally ill with duchenne's muscular dystrophy!This September he will be 22!!!Will i go back and visit Terrace this I'm not sure,but i have alot of great friends there who i miss dearly but know i will always be in touch.With moving I will be blogging alot more to keep everyone updated.Blessings everyone!!!

I look up to the hills,but where does my help come from?My help comes from the Lord,who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2

So we can be sure when we say,"I will not be afraid,because the Lord is my helper.People can'e do anything to me."Jesus Christ is the same yesterday,today,and forever. Hebrews 13:6,8.

To my dad,Happy Father's day!!!!!

2009-06-18T10:29:00.001-07:00

this is the last song i danced to with my dad..,for you dad!I love you so much more than you will ever know!!!

Aww Thankful Thurday!!!

2009-06-18T09:57:00.002-07:00

Giving thanks is something I believe more people in today's society shouls remember.I mean we always ask our children did you say thankyou,so why should it be any different just because we are adults.In the workplace for instance how many of you feel better hearing a thankyou than you did a good job. A thankyou has more meaning to me!

I am so very thankful for new beginnings!
I am so thankful for finding a wonderful house!
I am so very thankful in gaining full time employment in a new city and in an economic crunch!
I am so thankful for the support,love and understanding from my family!
I am so thankful for my wonderful friends who no matter what are there!
I am so thankful for god's love each and everyday,for on the days when i feel so alone I know i am not.

I can so relate the words in this song!!!!

2009-05-29T14:10:00.002-07:00

Thankful thursday,,oops a day late again.

2009-05-29T13:23:00.002-07:00

Yes i remembered to post unfortunatly i remembered a day late!!
So on to my favorite post
I am thankful for my wonderful friends,who without im sure i would be lost!
I am thankful for my beautiful family who no matter what support and love me.
I am thankful for my mom who has taught me the importance of honesty no matter what consequences arise.
I am thankful for the many blessings that have come into life,some short lived,some long lived.
I am thankful that no matter what may come into my life,nothing could be possible without god's grace,forgiveness,love.

Life is fun and adventerous!!

2009-05-22T08:12:00.002-07:00

Tha past month has taught me so much of what is important and that is family, in life you lose friends,gain friends,have good health then in the blink of an eye you don't.You can have a job that you love only to wake up and no longer have it.With each and every trail and tribulation that you face without your family can be a very lonely experience.I know this all to well.when i made the decision to move back to where half my family is I will admit I was scared but not as much if they werent there. We all come to a point in our lives where we must choose what we value the most and for me that is family.

well......

2009-04-12T20:52:00.002-07:00

life is complicated.... but it's getting better with each day.

so for many of you that don't know, bill and i are no longer together... and it is now just jordan and i.

God is wanting me to include Him... to not lose faith that i am... to not feel so alone...

i am starting a new chapter in life... whether i want to or not... whether i am ready or not.

please, nobody judge me, i don't need it.... and if you have to, i don't want to know. i don't want to walk into a room and have everybody be quiet because... i walked into the room. if you have any questions or have anything to say just say it to me... not behind me. please remember jordan, and samm.

*a righteous man falls seven times (completely, totally, utterly...), and he gets up back up.*

*the Lord's mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness!*

Ahh im a day late!!!

2009-03-13T08:49:00.003-07:00

Im a day late seems to be normal latley.., for me anyways.So a brief update not much to say other than school and work and home are moving along.
One more thing what is up with the snow no compliaints here lovin it!!!
So now on to my post!!!
I am thankful for new beginnings,chances and memories.
I am thankful for modern medicine,
I am thankful for knowing who my real friends are,
I am thankful for employment in a time when so many others don't have any,
I am thankful for my daughter's safe return to and from pg to pick up the rest of her stuff for her new place.
I am thankful for all the extra time i have been givin to spend with my son while still working full time.
I am thankful for my family who mean more than words can express.

Lord,You have said,"Come to Me,all you who labor and are heavy laden,and i will give you rest.Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,for I am gentle and humble in heart,and you will find rest for your souls.For My yoke is easy,and My burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

Thankful Thursday!!! Giving thanks

2009-02-19T08:04:00.002-08:00

Good morning everyone!!!
I am thankful for the Lord's presence in my life and knowing that no matter what my thoughts and fears are he listens.
I am thankful for friends who try to understand when they don't quite understand either.
I am thankful for the love and support Jord and i are recieving.
I am thankful for the love and understanding jord and i have for each other.
I an thankful for the sun that we are enjoying,even in all of this trying time. Blessings till next week!!!

Ok so this is life!!!

2009-02-16T16:42:00.002-08:00

Well today has been a very interesting day as I am here to say that my marriage is over.Am I shocked and hurt well of course.Being angry and not talking about things as brought us to this place.I have been working full time now and helping my friends with their baby so I was told that I am never home and that bill felt that I don't love him anymore,i don't wear my rings anymore because of excema,that he feels like we are nothing but roomates so in the end he told me to leave and to take jord with me. so now as it stands jord and i are left to start over as there is no going back.We also do not have our house keys therefore are legally not able to go back into our house until the courts step in.So where do we go from here?Not sure???

the veronica's untouched!!!! Love this song and these girls are awesome

2009-02-12T17:01:00.001-08:00

Life..,or so called life!!!

2009-02-12T16:37:00.002-08:00

Well it has been a very busy week!!I must admit I wasn't looking all that forward to my birthday yesterday,but seeing how i couldn't just crawl under the covers and go back to sleep i got up.Within an hour I didn't feel any better.I got up and got ready for work,then had to pick up my friend,lets just say hmm!!!So i am on my way to work and the whole time im thinking not gonna cry not gonna,well i didn't win that battle.So i get to work and start my day.Still a bit sad till a friend yep that's right a friend did something so simple but with so much thought made my day.
Later on my boss comes in and brought flowers and balloons for my birthday, so unexpected but so thoughtful.All in all it ended up being a great day!!!

2009-02-12T16:19:00.002-08:00

Well it is been one week and we are back again with Thankful Thursday!!!!!!
I soo very much love posting everything that I am thankful for,although I am a firm believer in giving thanks each and everyday.
I am very thankful for all the wonderful birthday wishes i recieved yesterday!!
I am thankful for the beautiful flowers and ballons i recieved from work yesterday
I am very thankful for a wonderful friend who really understood what i didn't want and wanted for my birthday!!yepp the thought!!!
I am thankful for the beautiful flowers and ballons i recieved from work yesterday.
With every year it always snows on my birthday and for that in itself I am thankful,I will remember you always.
I am very thankful for the little things in life.., that mean so much.
I am thankful for my family..,who reflect who I am.
I am very thankful that this year my brother will be 22 years old,for those who don't know my brother is terminally ill with Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy.
I am thankful that he has taught me to live each and every day as there may not be a tomorrow.
I am thankful for the wonderful friends in my life who love me for me. Blessings till next week!!!

To you forever!!!!

2009-02-04T11:15:00.003-08:00

It has been five long years now and I miss you more each and every day.I only wish i had the chance to say goodbye but that was how you wanted it.You were more concerned in protecting us than anything else and i have not been able to forgive myself since that awful day. I know you would be saying that wasn't true but i never thought in a million ways i would never see your smile or hear your laugh again.I will remember everything about you,your love for chocolate and pop even though you weren't suppossed to have it.Your love for basketball and video games and how much you loved golf i could never understand that.But i will most of all miss you for kind hearted ways. Seeing how sarah was one of your favorite artists,this is for you. With love always.

Thankful Thursday!!!

2009-02-04T10:55:00.003-08:00

Hi there my favorite post i know it is a day early but for some it isn't.
Lacking time is something i am dealing with so i am a day early!!!

So I shall begin by saying I am very thankful that my grade point average for my classes is 3.8.
I am very thankful for the understanding ways that my son jord is showing while i am working full time again.
I am very thankful for the positive changes i have seen in my son when it comes to school.(long time coming).
I am very thankful for my great friends i have even though we don't always see eye to eye.
I am very thankful for my great family who make me realize each and every day the importance of family.
I am very thankful that my mom shows my brother and i unconditonal love and support everyday.
I am very thankful in having being taught that money doesn't buy happiness.
I am very thankful in knowing that everything happens in time.
I am very thankful in knowing and believing that the lord will not give me more than i can handle.

Busy Busy!!!

2009-02-04T10:41:00.002-08:00

Wow i can not believe how busy life has kept me. With working full time,school,jord,his schooling and everyday things around the house being done I can't say I even have time to get sick but low and behold i just got over the awful stomach flu and I didn't even have time to take sick days or rest so i made due.I would work and go home and just lay down in between things.Just when i thought maybe i had gotten rid of it jord got it.Only now am i starting to feel better.But enought about that.I can not believe the weird weather we are having,waking up it is like hmm what will we get today? Rain or snow?I am excited and sad all at the same time,my baby girl is going to be 19 on the 23rd,im excited as she will be 19,but sad as she won't be home for her birthday.Unfortunatly finances and work don't permit going to see her which makes me sad.I am also sad as i now work sundays 7to3 and for the time being can't make church.For cell it is the same thing so far as it stands i work 3to11 on tuesdays.I love my job however i didn't think it would take me away from so many things that are very important to me.However it doesn't change or take away from my beliefs or my faith.Fortunatly i have alot of patience!!

Sometimes it is just the way I feel!!!! No more tears I promise

2009-01-09T22:53:00.002-08:00

Love is...,

2009-01-09T22:45:00.002-08:00

" Love is patient;love is kind and envies no one.
Love is never boastful,nor conceited,nor rude;
never selfish,not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith, its hope,and enduracnce.
In a word,there are three things that last forever; faith ,hope,and love; but the
greatest of them all is love."

When it Hurts!!!!

2009-01-09T22:05:00.003-08:00

Hi Everyone,
First and foremost hope everyone had a great time during the holidays!! Our holidays were very quiet.With Samm in P.G. it only left the three of us.It was great to have snow for christmas,although I am loving the snow we have now!! Gotta say it love the snow yep hmm hmm i do. We had a samll christams dinner and although i thought i bought a small turkey ended up with alot of leftovers. Bill came home for the holidays.I got a visitor called bronchitis and am almost over it.However all is good.Jord is back at school,Bill back in camp and for myself back to work and school.
My Grandmother always told me to have patience,to live laugh and love.The most important thing she taught me was to always always respect others.To always give back more than you recieve,as giving meas so much more.Now I loved my grandmother for all the things she taught me but most importantly for the love that shone through her.It is times like these that I miss her soo much.For she is everything I wish I could be,she was patient,loving,caring.The one thing I admire her for is being such a strong independent woman.You see my grandma and grandpa were divorced and she took care of 5 children.
With all of these things that she taught me then why does it hurt soo much when I consider everyone's feelings and help without anything in return that somehow I end up being the one hurting.I don't understand how some people feel that it is okay to make everyone else consider their feelings when they don't seem to care about yours or anyone else's.I mean when is enough enough???How much more can one person take??When repeating yourself over and over doesn't help,what more can you do?? Do you say enough and cut your losses?,or do you keep trying?

something different

2008-12-17T00:42:00.000-08:00

from starlas blog,it was interesting to me!!!

2008-12-04T01:40:00.002-08:00

Another Thingy

1) Favorite object in your room? nightable
2) Have you ever smoked heroin? Nope
3) Do you own guns? Toys guns
4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? hmm a what?
5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? sometimes
6) What do you think of hot dogs? can live without them
7) Favorite song? right now you can't break a broken heart,kate voegle
8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? water
9) Can you do push ups? nope
10) Can you do a chin up? don't think so
11) What's your favorite piece of jewelry? my necklace from my brother,never take it off
12) Do you like blue cheese? um gross
13) Ever been in a car wreck? yes
16) Middle name? hehe don't have one
17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? sleep,snow hmm the house is very quiet
18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday? peanuts,magazine,pop
19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?water,tea,water
20) Current worry?not getting enough sleep
21) Current hate right now? lack of sleep
23) How did you bring in the New Year? didn't i think i was sleeping
24) Where would you like to be right now? home
25) Name three people who will complete this? lynne,not sure
26) Do you own slippers?yep
27) What shorts are you wearing?? im not.
28) Do you sleep on satin sheets? nope to slippery
29) Can you whistle? yes but it gives me a headache
31) Would you be a pirate? no
32) What songs do you sing in the shower? i don't
33) Favorite girl's name? samantha
34) Favorite boy's name? jord
35) What's in your POCKET? don't have any
) Last thing that made you laugh?a funny email
37) Best bed sheets? from the dryer
38) Worst injury you've ever had? broke my sternum
39) Do you love where you live? its ok
40) How many TVs do you have in your house?3
41) Who is your loudest friend? ????
42) How many dogs do you have? 0
43) Does someone have a crush on you? Yes
44) What does your last text say? i love you and miss you
45) What is your favorite book? Bible,the secret life of bees
46) What is your favorite candy? bottlecaps
47) Favorite Sports Team? Canucks
48) Where is the next place you want to travel to? home
50) What was the first thing you did this morning? dishes

Thankful Thursday!!!

2008-12-04T01:26:00.002-08:00

Thankful thursday often reminds me of something my grandfather told me and that was we do not need a special day or holiday to be thankful or be nice.In fact we should be thankful each and everyday.We should be the best we can be each and everyday or you will just end up cheating yourself.

I am very thankful for full time employment.
I am thankful for the time i get to spend with bill when he is home.
I am thankful for all the help i get from jord around the house.
I am once again thankful for my wonderful family and friends who get me.
The one thing i am most thankful for this week is life.

Hmm what a week!!!

2008-11-29T19:19:00.002-08:00

Well i must say it has been a very busy week for our house!! I am now working full time at Mac's and I must say i love it.It feels so great to be working again and getting back to church.I don't have much to say other than life is good oh and bill is home till the 8th. Blessings!!!

Another day!!!

2008-11-24T01:48:00.003-08:00

Well what an interesting day i have had.It started with my bathroom sink leaking everywhere leaving a huge mess.It is still leaking thank goodness I knew how to turn the water off.Now i wait patiently for it to be fixed.Then it started snowing again now normally i don't worry about the snow but working in thornhill gives me new worry.Then i got to go to work for 8 hours and thus keeping me awake into the early morning hours which is nothing new.Wish i could figure out this insomnia sleep would be nice eventually.Jord and i have another week till Bill gets home so we are decorating our tree on wednesday night and the house.I can't wait as it will be soo much fun.Wishin you all a great day. Blessings

Never Judge a Book By It's Cover!!!

2008-11-22T16:18:00.005-08:00

As time goes by and with each passing day it truly amazes me how quickly everyone forgets this.Hmm what makes me write about this is no matter what we do in life we are all judged each and every day by each and every person we meet.Our actions also give more room for people to judge.But with this judgement can come rudeness,short tempers and hurt.The one area i notice that we are judged the most upon is out jobs.Our very lively hood.Just becasue someone stays at home with their baby,chooses to go back to work after after children,or just in a job to finish school.This brings me to something that i have experienced time and time again.I was shopping the other evening and yes it was Walmart.There were only two cashiers on and it wasn't really busy, so one cashier was on a break and all i heard was complaining.First of all you look bad complaining,drawing negative attention unless of course that is what you want.Second don't just leave your buggy there for a worked to put away,don't you think they have enough to do.Third don't you think the cashier feels bad enough about the long lineups and proably has had it listening to you and every one else complain.Have you even thought about the person behind the till just trying to do their job and what kind of day they might be having? Of course not.Do you ever think of the day they might be having.Of course not.How do you know if they have a baby or sick children or if they just lost someone .Well i can answer that for you don't and you proably don't care.Now don't get me wrong a lot of you do care. We all know that nowadays we live in a society that judges and jobs have become thankless.Just once don't you think it would be nice to recipicate,"How are you today". Blessings

Talk about Crazy weather!!!!!

2008-11-21T17:54:00.002-08:00

I went to work today and it was raining,then wham it started to snow for almost 4 hours.It was so awesome and beautiful,wishing i had brought my camera.However being at work I couldn't.It is so funny to me how people are so grumpy about the snow.Do people forget that we live in Terrace,Northern B.C. and it is Nov 21st.I just love the snow so much in fact that by the time i got home the snow turned to rain making it impossible to make snow angels.So now i leave you with a couple of my favorite scriptures. So hope you enjoy and if you have snow please make a snowangel for me.

Philippians 2:14-16
I will do all things without complaining or arguing,so that I may become blameless and pure,a child of God witout fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation,among whom I shine as a light in the world, holding fast the Word of Life.

1 Corinthians 16: 14
I want everything I do to be done in love.

Blessings.

Thankful Thursday!!!!!

2008-11-20T06:15:00.002-08:00

Wow amazing i am not late this week.It is Thursday right!!
I have had an amazing week. Work has been going very well even though I have been busy.I am so happy that I am back in church after such a long hiatus.I have been loving the snow that is trying to come down.
So i begin with
I am thankful for work when so many do not have the opportunity for work.
I am thankful for the beautiful snow covered mountains.
I am thankful for the Lord's presence each and every day of our lives.
I am thankful for the unconditional love from within my children.
I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends who are there when the days are sad and the nights are long.
I am thankful for my loving ,patient parents who are there no matter how many times I've made mistakes.
I am so very thankful for the medical marvels that have given my brother life each and every day.He is now 21 yes 21.I love you so very much.Thankyou for every thing you have taught me and continue to teach me.

Wow !!! Love this song and artist!!!

2008-11-18T16:16:00.001-08:00

For someone special!!!

2008-11-16T22:42:00.001-08:00

What a Week!!!

2008-11-16T21:41:00.002-08:00

It has been another busy funfilled week even though at times tiring.I must say that i was very disappointed when it snowed and didn't stay.I so want to make snow angels.So i say bring on the snow!!!Not sure why i love snow so much!I am sure it has something to do with living most of my life on Vancouver Island.Boy oh boy do i miss home.Although I know that home is where the heart is.But what if just what if your heart won't let you let go?Does it mean that just this once your heart knows what is best for you?Or is your heart playing tricks on you?Confusing your memories of the home you left behind? Making you feel homesick?
So on to my week of fun!!
I just started a new job that i really am enjoying,working 8 hours a day then being a mom and everything else that goes with it.As well as finishing up my degree can make for a long day.Jordan and I are adjusting to just the two of us being home now.I didn't think my house could ever be this quite.It definatly has been very hard in fact I don't want to ever get used to it.I miss samm so much even though i know she wasn't going to be living at home her whole life.I just hoped she would have stayed a little longer.FOR YOU SAMM

2008-11-14T12:53:00.005-08:00

Well here i am again a day late for thankful thursday,hmm wondering if i will ever get back on schedule.I always have alot to be thankful for but here are some things that make it for this week!!
I am thankful for my daughters safe return home.
I am thankful that my migraine went away with only one trip to the hospital this time!!
I am thankful for my new job and the opportunity i have been given!
I am thankful for great friends and family which goes without saying!!
I am thankful for the snow yeppers the snow even though everyone is complaining.

Thankful Thursday..,oops a day late!

2008-11-07T11:19:00.003-08:00

I know it has been soo long since i posted a post on Thankful Thursday,but am glad to say i will be making regular postings.So here we go

Thankful Thursday
I am thankful for my great family and friends.
I am thankful for my daughter's safe move to another city.
I am thankful that my son is learning to like school again.
I am thankful for the time I can spend with my husband when he is home from camp.
I am thankful for our new house.
I am thankful for the time i get to spend with a special little baby each and every day.
I am thankful for the sun,and the colors in the leaves.
I am thankfukl for the lord's presence in each and every day.

A post of !!!!!!

2008-11-05T14:05:00.005-08:00

The last few weeks have been tiring,sressful,complicated and confusing but fun!!!I have felt a change coming on for so long it is hard to explain.I am feeling driven from within and above.Perhaps just perhaps my prayers are being answered.I feel that by withdrawing from everything and unfortunatly everyone is what i needed to gain perspective.Gone are the days where i am trying to be someone im not.It was so easy to lose myself but even harder to find myself again.I can really relate to this song.

Good Morning!!!!

2008-11-02T08:59:00.005-08:00

Wow it has been since June since I posted anything.
So here is a quick update as you all know Samm has graduated from school.I am so proud of her as she recieved 2 scholarships.She has moved to Prince George to start the next chapter of her life.In Sept she will be going back to school to work towards becoming a detal hygienist.For those who know how talented she is with her artwork for now it will be a hobby.Since she has moved out and on I am left with did I teach you everything you need to know.Then i remember yes i did as she is kind,caring,loving and not afraid to be who she is and stand up for her beliefs.Then i have other times where i am sad as she isn't home.The other day I was watching Americas next top model which we watch together and all i could think of was what part would we laugh at together,then when i laughed i knew.
As for my other bestfriend Jordan. He is now in grade 9.Yes i know grade9.Jordan is having a hrad time adjusting to having noone to argue with over what to watch on tv,or whos trun is it to do the dishes.Jordan is struggling day to day with his dyslexia but in spite of it all he wants to be a vet.Lately he can be found playing on the computer,or with his wii.He is slowly coming out of his shell,which is great to see.He recently lost one of his turtles.Summer was a blast as this was his first summer home with us.Wow oh wow can he play tennis.
For my soulmate Bill he is hardly home as he is working soo much,which is good becasue come April he will be heading up his own kitchen and camp.He is so thankful for the opportunity but at the same time he is nervous.Bill has his good an bad days with his ankel and when he is home life is complete.
With me I am back in school working towards becoming a medical office assistant one more year and i am done.Recently when i was working i had a gas spill and followed safety procedures to a t.Then i had a off duty cop come in wanting to get gas,well i couldn't and wouldn't turn on the pumps.He got very angry as i wouldn''t let his wife start the car oh did i mention he ran over the cones and on top of the spill.yeah.So he told me i couldn't hold her there and he would charge me with unlawful confinement i said go ahead,He then told me he was a cop i then asked him what is your point? Well he left the next day he talked to my boss and i was told to apologize.I tols him i wouldn't as i wasn't in the wrong.I was then told to take a few days to think about it.Well i did and i now don't have a job.Now i know fogiveness is different than apologizing for something you feel you didn't do anything wrong.I am trying to teach my children to stand up for what they believe is right,but i am worried that they may think standing up for themselves is not the right thing to so afterall i lost my job.
We have had the opportunity to go home and visit my mom,brother and dad.Which was a blast.

Have you Ever?

2008-06-02T10:21:00.002-07:00

Have you ever had a dark place or a happy place?I have with much regret been in a dark place.Unless you have been there can you fully understand?You may think you can relate but honestly you have to be there.I know how much control this has on someone.I know that God won't give us more than we can handle,but sometimes i wonder how he can give a person so much to deal with?Being in a dark place affects everything you do.Everything and everyone suffer.Your family and friends are affected as you build walls that are hard to take down.Your work suffers.Friends don't understand and think you are mad at them,when you really aren't.Things that you enjoyed doing are no longer fun but feel like a chore.Your sleep suffers either too much or too little.Your appetite suffers.You close off the whole world and enter into complete isolation.Leaving many to wonder what happened.
Being able to answer questions becomes very difficult..You can't guarantee that it won't happen again.As you start to become better and more aware of what's around you there is always that fear of being critizied for your actions.You fear rejection from your peers or being isolated.When you are in a dark place it isn't where you want to be but understanding how you got there can help.It isn't the time to judge or leave them all alone,when what you need is the comfort of having your friends there loving and caring for you just as you are.

ThAnKfUl ThUrSdAy!!!!!

2008-05-29T00:49:00.002-07:00

I am thankful for my family,for without them I would not be who I am today.
I am so very thankful for my wonderful children and how God trusts us to take care of them.
I am so thankful that Samm has found love in a world that doesn't neccesarily understand love.
I am thankful that Bill is going back to work after his back injury.
I am thankful for Jordan's health and every funny thing he does to cheer me up when i am feeling blue.
I am thankful that our river has receded a bit.
I am thankful for life itself.

Invisible!!!

2008-05-29T00:26:00.002-07:00

Some days are better than others,for sure.There certainly are busy times coming up for us.The first being Bill heads back to camp on Friday,Samm has a job interview on Friday as well(walmart)and jord is hopefully heading to a summer job at the driving range.Everybody is off doing something.Which makes life exciting.Which gives me time to have a quiet house to do my courses.Life is busy but good.With finally being able to step out my dark place i am ready to get back to work and life.I am now starting to feel like myself again,gone are the curtains and blinds staying closed,gone is the frustration.I want to be able to say gone is the depression but i must be realistic as this is something that will take time.I feel and know that i am on the right path in life.I can finally say that I am ready to go back to church and play an active role again.I miss everyone and everything about our church.I miss the friendships and the feeling of belonging. Since i have been gone god has still been a part of everyday life for us. Till Sunday!!!!Blessings

How Many??

2008-05-26T22:54:00.001-07:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
11
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Samm's Prom A Midnight Summers Dream May 24 2008

2008-05-24T23:12:00.001-07:00

Free MySpace slideshows, photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Thankful Thursday!!!

2008-05-22T11:30:00.002-07:00

Well here we are again,it is already thursday!
I have alot to be thankful for this week so i shall get started,
I am thankful for the sun we are having even if it is off and on,couldn't have asked for a nicer May Long Weekend.
I am thankful that God has given me patience and understanding,as i have certainatly needed that this week.
I am thankful for great friends and finally having all of our stuff moved in,(you know who you are).
I am thankful for turtle cleaning chemicals boy do they come in handy.
I am thankful for the wonderful family that we have.
I am thankful that Shane is coming up for Samm's Prom making it all the more special.
I am most thankful that Bill's back is healing well after he slipped two discs in March.

The Lord is good to those who hope in him,to those who seek him.It is good to wait quietly for the Lord to save him. Lamentations 3:25-26

Bring on the sunshine!!!

2008-05-16T13:23:00.002-07:00

I am so excited for tonight!!Yep we are going to Doc Walker tonight.It is so awesome that he is coming here.Usually It would mean a trip to Van.
Hope you enjoy!

2008-05-15T20:17:00.002-07:00

Thankful Thrusday!!!
I am so thankful for our new home!
I am thankul for the sun we have had!
I am thankful for great family and friends!
I am thankful for Jordan liking tennis as i now have a partner!
I am thankful for the closeness i have with Samm and Jord!
I am thankful for all of us being happy again

oh spain,take me home

2008-05-14T12:31:00.001-07:00

Just really like these guys,video shot in spain to me amazing.My dream trip!!!

Happy Mother's Day Indeed!!!!

2008-05-11T20:24:00.003-07:00

You know you have finally let go of all your childhood resentment,anger when you can finally have the conversation you want with your mom and she finally understands you.Now many of you know that my childhood was anything but great and I have been so angry with my mom and dad.However i have come to realize that no matter what I can not change the past so why dwell on it.Do i wish that my childhood was different,i'd be lying if I say no as I often thought that.Another realization I have come to is my mom and dad love me and have always have,always will.If things where different I wouldn't have my two beautiful sisters or my loving brother.So why waste another day holding onto resentment?When life is soo short? An update on my brother he is going to be 21 in Sept and so far he has proven all the doctor's wrong.Although he is 15 years younger than me he is such an amazing role model.Yes he is terminally ill,has a feeding tube,rods in his back,a trach and a breathing machine and struggles everyday but he still has his humour and his handsome smile.I know he struggles within but you would never know it.My brother and i are in the process of writing his memoir,something that he wants to do.Not just to tell his story but to share with others what life is like living with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.That there is life after being diagnosed.The medical choices that he has had to make and what other options there are.As well as the most important thing to my brother that what is life without faith?This is still his favorite song..,Mom said I never should have sung this to him.., oops sorry Mom we love you!!!!! Hope you had a great Mother's Day!!!

"A Good Day"!!!!! By Jewel

2008-05-10T15:27:00.000-07:00

Where has time Gone!!

2008-05-10T14:52:00.004-07:00

Wow,
Has time passed since my last post and so much has happened!
Jordan's foot healed well and he is back to normal but alot more helpful around the house.We are finally in our own place and i must say i love it.It isn't huge or small but it is home.A three bedroom,three floor townhouse and with Samm in the basement i finally have a spare room.!I am so happy and excited for Samm with her prom in two weeks and graduation in June.
PICTURE AT sHANE'S pROM IN pRINCE gEORGE. pWith us almost settled in our new house,Bill is back off to camp and i'm in school so we have a very busy few months ending off with my sister's wedding in August.I am very happy for her and am looking forward to going home.I only hope bill can come with us.Usually when life is this busy I must say I am stressed but i am only happy,very happy!!!

My Favorite Post!!!!! Thankful Thursday!!!!!

2008-01-24T15:26:00.000-08:00

With the passing holidays and the new year I have soo much to be thankful for!
I am thankful for my family,
I am thankful for the nurses and xray technicians and dr's wonderful care for my son.
I am thankful for the sunny weather,
I am thankful for sounds of chirping birds,
I am thankful for the warmer weather giving me some much needed time outside.
I am thankful for all my wonderful friends.

Yep Crazyness is what it is!!!!

2008-01-24T15:08:00.000-08:00

Well we bring in the new year with a cast.Our son broke his foot last night and will be in a cast for the next 6 weeks.If it doesn't heal he will have to have a screw put in.I will be posting pics soon of christmas and out holidays.I just love all the sunny weather we are having.
I am so proud of myself for the past week i have been eating right and am back to exercising although I lost my walking partner for a while.

2008-01-12T11:57:00.000-08:00

Wow i love this song.., can she get any better????

Welcome to 2008!!!!!!

2008-01-12T11:13:00.000-08:00

After a somewhat crazy,eventful year,I am soo ready to take on this year with a new perspective.Beginning with the most difficult thing to realize.Yesterday has come and gone nothing can change but alas something can my perspective.That's right with the help and love from family and friends this is the year that I have begun to not let my depression rule me. It is a struggle within everyday. In fact someone very smart in fact my bestfriend(Samm)told me noone can help me unless I want to help myself.So i took that advice to heart.I miss who I am the real me.I miss my carefree,friendly,bubbly personality.And how did i ever lose my grandma's philosophy to live life to the fullest? I didn't make any resolutions k i did who am i kidding I want to look great for my sisters wedding.I am soo excited to be going back home for a well needed trip home.At work I always try to be the better person and help customers with their needs but honestly why do they have to be so mean.Over the past two months i have never seen our staff treated so badly.Really do people think that with yelling and cursing and demeaning a person is going to help?We are only trying to do our jobs and with every job there are rules and guidelines,as I am sure many of you work.I understand how frustrating it can be but a little patience goes a long way.I'm sure if we came to your place of work you wouldn't want us to treat you that way.And what are we showing our children.I am ready to jump into this year with a renewed sense of faith,p.s.i know god has been right by my side for he is a good god. So see you all in church on sunday.

Feeling Blue will it ever go away???

2007-10-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

Wow so much has happened. I am not quite sure how I can descreibe how I am feeling.One thing I know is I am tired as I can't seem to sleep at all.I have been averaging about 2to4 hours every night.I am soo tired of feeling blue,wish I could shake it.Feeling very lonely doesn't help to much either.I love my job, family and friends so why is it that I just want to be alone and not get out of bed? Why do I cry every time I am alone,or cry my self to sleep.

Thankful Thursday!!!
I am so thankful that my sisters and I are becoming closer with everyday and talking more.
I am thankful for old friendships being renewed.
I am thankful for my family and friends.
I am thankful that my husband and i have jobs in a time when many don't.
I am thankful for my children's understanding and patience.
I am thankful for the rain.
I am thankful for food in my cupboards.
I am thankful for the many things that have been provided for us.
I am thankful for my husbands love and understanding.
I am thankful for the sun even admist in the rain.

Thankful Thursday!!!!!

2007-09-20T01:26:00.000-07:00

Well what a couple of weeks we have had,with all the hustle and bustle of going back to work,bill going back to camp and the kids going back to school.Do you ever go through times where you feel you just don't belong.By means of no invites to girls night out,birthday parties or events.I feel pushed aside,forgotten,not important.

Now that I have said what i have been holding in for a long time I will get to my favorite post...,thankful thursday!!!!

I am thankful for my two beautiful children who taught me patience,love and understanding.
I am thankful for my husband who with all my faults still loves me unconditionally.
I am thankful for the birth of my second cousin.
I am thankful that my cousin has found love.
I am thankful for the many friendships i have(terri would be lost without you)
I am so thankful that my brother just celebrated his 20th birthday.(luv yah buddy)
I am thankful for the rain,love dancing in it just nobody else wants to.
I am thankful that the little kid comes out in me.
I am thankful that i don't take life so seriously all the time.
I am thankful for the breaks i get at work boy do we need them.
I am thankful for the grace i have in dealing with rude customers.
I am thankful for the colours changing in the leaves.
I am most thankful for God because with out him,i wouldn't have any of this to be thankful for.

Taylot Swift---- Samm introduced me to her music and i love it

2007-09-07T03:48:00.000-07:00

Thankful Thursday!!!!

2007-09-07T03:12:00.003-07:00

This week I have so much to be thankful for!!
I am so thankful that we are able to go back to church,as i now work sunday nights.
I am so thankful that my daughter is wiling to help by cooking dinner if i prepare it.
I am so thankful that she is willing to take the time to help her brother with his homework.
I am so thankful that i am back at work and am provided with a stool as i can only stand for 15 mins at a time.
I am thankful that i finaly start pyhsio.
I am so thankful that god has given me the stength to admit i have anorexia.
I am thankful that god has shown me that i don't need to know why,that i can trust him 100%.
I am thankful for his neverending love.
I am thankful for the gifts he has given my children and how he has reached them in their own way.
I am thankful that my husband is now saved.
I am thankful for everything we have that he has provided for us.

from lynne's blog

2007-09-04T23:48:00.000-07:00

Three things that scare me:
1. rejection
2. not being a good mom
3. being yelled at!

Three people who make me laugh:
1. terri
2. jordan
3.samm

Three things I love:
1. God
2. friends/family
3. church family

Three things I don't like:
1.being sick right now
2. cramps
3. spiders

Three things I don't understand:
1. why my brother is terminally ill
2. why people are rude in line ups-im just a person doing the best i can
3. "keeping up with the joneses"

Three things on my desk
1. books
2. pictures
3. ornaments

Three things I am doing right now:
1. writing out my to do list
2. filling out this form
3. nothing else

Three things I want to do before I die: (Lord willin'!)
1. find a cure for duchenne's muscular dystrophy
2. go to paris with my sis
3. go to niagara falls

Three things I can do:
1.read
2. scrapbook
3.write

Three things I can’t do:
1. admit when i need help
2. jog anymore due to my hip
3. algebra

Three things you should listen to:
1. God's voice!
2. rain
3. your children when they have something to tell you even if it is the smallest thing

Three things you should never listen to:
1. gossip
2.
3.

Three shows I watched as a kid:
1. family ties
2. the littlest hobo
3. little house on the prairie

Hypothyroidism-underactive thyroid,a bit of a read

2007-09-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

Hypothyroidism - Underactive Thyroid

Hypothyroidism means a reduced level of thyroid hormone (thyroxine). This can cause various symptoms, the most common being: tiredness, weight gain, constipation, aches, dry skin, lifeless hair and feeling cold. Treatment is usually easy by taking a tablet each day to replace the missing thyroxine. Treatment usually works well and symptoms usually go.

What is hypothyroidism?
Thyroxine is a hormone (body chemical) made by the thyroid gland in the neck. It is carried round the body in the bloodstream. It helps to keep the body's functions (the metabolism) working at the correct pace. Many cells and tissues in the body need thyroxine to keep them going correctly.

Hypothyroidism means that the thyroid gland does not make enough thyroxine. It is often called an underactive thyroid. This causes many of the body's functions to slow down.

(In contrast, if you have hyperthyroidism, you make too much thyroxine. This causes many of the body's functions to speed up.)

What are the symptoms of hypothyroidism?
Many symptoms can be caused by a low level of thyroxine. Basically, everything 'slows down'. Not all symptoms develop in all cases.

Symptoms that commonly occur include: tiredness, weight gain, constipation, aches, feeling cold, dry skin, lifeless hair, fluid retention, mental slowing, and depression.
Less common symptoms include: a hoarse voice, irregular or heavy menstrual periods in women, infertility, loss of sex drive, carpal tunnel syndrome (which causes pains and numbness in the hand), and memory loss or confusion in the elderly.
However, all these symptoms can be caused by other conditions, and sometimes the diagnosis is not obvious. Symptoms usually develop slowly, and gradually become worse over months or years as the level of thyroxine in the body gradually falls.

What are the possible complications of hypothyroidism?
If you have untreated hypothyroidism:

You may have an increased risk of developing heart disease. This is because a low thyroxine level causes the blood lipids (cholesterol, etc) to rise.
If you are pregnant, you have an increased risk of developing some pregnancy complications. For example: pre-eclampsia, anaemia, premature labour, low birth weight, stillbirth, and serious bleeding after the birth.
Hypothyroid coma (myxoedema coma) is a very rare complication.
However, with treatment, the outlook is excellent. With treatment, symptoms usually go, and you are very unlikely to develop any complications.

Who gets hypothyroidism?
About 1 in 50 women, and about 1 in 1000 men develop hypothyroidism at some time in their life. It most commonly develops in adult women, and becomes more common with increasing age. However, it can occur at any age and can affect anyone.

What causes hypothyroidism?
Autoimmune thyroiditis - the common cause
The most common cause is due to an 'autoimmune disease' called autoimmune thyroiditis. The immune system normally makes antibodies to attack bacteria, viruses, and other 'germs'. If you have an autoimmune disease, the immune system makes antibodies against certain tissues of your body.

With autoimmune thyroiditis, you make antibodies that attach to your own thyroid gland which affect the glands function. The thyroid gland is then not able to make enough thyroxine, and hypothyroidism gradually develops. It is thought that something triggers the immune system to make antibodies against the thyroid. The 'trigger' is not known.

Autoimmune thyroiditis is more common than usual in people with:

A family history of hypothyroidism caused by autoimmune thyroiditis.
Down's syndrome. Hypothyroidism develops in 1 in 3 people with Down's syndrome before the age of 25 years. Symptoms of hypothyroidism may be missed more easily in people with Down's syndrome. Therefore, some doctors recommend that all people with Down's syndrome should have an annual blood test to screen for hypothyroidism.
Turner's syndrome. Again, an annual blood test to screen for hypothyroidism is usually advised for people with this condition.
An enlarged thyroid gland (diffuse goitre).
A past history of Graves' disease, or thyroiditis following childbirth.
A personal or family history of other autoimmune disorders. For example, vitiligo, pernicious anaemia, Addison's disease, Type 1 diabetes, premature ovarian failure, coeliac disease, Sjogren's syndrome.
Some people with autoimmune thyroiditis also develop a swollen thyroid gland (goitre). Autoimmune thyroiditis with a goitre is called Hashimoto's disease.

People with autoimmune thyroiditis have a small increased risk of developing other autoimmune conditions such as vitiligo, pernicious anaemia, etc.

Surgery or radioactive treatment to the thyroid gland
These are common causes of hypothyroidism in the UK due to increasing use of these treatments for other thyroid conditions.

Other causes
Other causes of hypothyroidism are less common and include:

A side-effect to some medicines. For example, amiodarone and lithium.
Other types of 'thyroiditis' (thyroid inflammation) caused by infection or other rare conditions.
A pituitary gland problem is a rare cause. The pituitary gland that lies just under the brain makes a hormone called thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH). This stimulates the thyroid gland to make thyroxine. If the pituitary does not make TSH, then the thyroid cannot make enough thyroxine.
Some children are born with an underactive thyroid gland (congenital hypothyroidism).
How is hypothyroidism diagnosed?
A blood test can diagnose hypothyroidism. A normal blood test will also rule it out if symptoms suggest that it may be a possible diagnosis. One or both of the following may be measured:

Thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH). This hormone is made in the pituitary gland. It is released into the bloodstream. It stimulates the thyroid gland to make thyroxine. If the level of thyroxine in the blood is low, then the pituitary releases more TSH to try and stimulate the thyroid gland to make more thyroxine. Therefore, a raised level of TSH means the thyroid gland is underactive and is not making enough thyroxine.
Thyroxine (T4). A low level of T4 confirms hypothyroidism.
Note: some people have a raised TSH but have a normal T4. This means that you are making enough thyroxine but the thyroid gland is needing extra 'stimulation' from TSH to make the required amount of thyroxine. In this situation you have an increased risk of developing hypothyroidism in the future. Your doctor may advise a repeat blood test every so often to see if you do eventually develop hypothyroidism.

Other tests are not usually necessary unless a rare cause of hypothyroidism is suspected. For example, tests of the pituitary gland may be done if both the TSH and T4 are low.

How is hypothyroidism treated?
The treatment is to take levothyroxine (thyroxine) tablets each day. This replaces the thyroxine which your thyroid gland is not making. Most people feel much better soon after starting treatment. Ideally, take the tablet on an empty stomach (before breakfast). This is because some foods rich in calcium or iron may interfere with the absorption of levothyroxine from the gut. (For the same reason, don't take levothyroxine tablets at the same time of day as calcium or iron tablets.)

What is the dose of levothyroxine?
Most adults need between 50 and 150 micrograms daily. A low dose is sometimes prescribed at first, especially in those over 60 or with heart problems, and is then gradually increased over a period of time. Blood tests are usually taken every 2-3 months, and the dose may be adjusted accordingly. The blood test measures TSH (see above). Once the blood TSH level is normal it means you are taking the correct amount of levothyroxine. It is then common practice to check the TSH blood level once a year. The dose may need adjustment in the early stages of pregnancy. Also, as you get into late middle age and older, you may need a reduced dose of levothyroxine.

Missed a tablet?
Everyone forgets to take their tablets from time to time. Don't worry as it is not dangerous to miss the odd forgotten levothyroxine tablet. You can take any missed doses as soon as you remember. However, you should try to take levothyroxine regularly each morning for maximum benefit.

How long is the treatment for?
For most people, treatment is for life. Occasionally, the disease process reverses. This is uncommon apart from the following:

Children. Sometimes hypothyroidism is a temporary condition in older children. (This is not so for children who are born with an underactive thyroid.)
Pregnancy. Some women develop thyroid imbalance after having a baby. If it occurs, it typically happens about three to six months after the birth. Often this lasts just a few months and corrects itself. Treatment is needed only in a small number of cases. However, afterwards it is wise to have a yearly blood test as there is an increased risk of developing autoimmune thyroiditis and long-term hypothyroidism in the future.
Are there any side-effects or problems from treatment?
Usually not. Levothyroxine tablets replace the body's natural hormone, so side-effects are uncommon. However, if you have angina, you may find that your angina pains become worse when you first start levothyroxine. Tell a doctor if this happens.

If you take too much levothyroxine it can lead to symptoms and problems of an over-active thyroid. For example, palpitations, diarrhoea, irritability, and sweating, and increases the risk of developing osteoporosis. This is why you need blood tests to check that you are taking the correct dose.

Other medicines may interfere with the action of levothyroxine. For example, carbamazepine, iron tablets, phenytoin, and rifampicin. If you start any of these medicines, or change the dose, then you may need to alter the dose of the levothyroxine. Your doctor will advise. Also, if you take warfarin, the dose may need to be altered if you have a change in your dose of levothyroxine.

Free prescriptions
If you have hypothyroidism, you are entitled to free prescriptions. This is for all your medicines, whether related to the hypothyroidism or not. Ask at your GP surgery for a form to fill in (form FP92A) to claim this benefit.

In summary
Hypothyroidism is common.
Symptoms develop gradually. They may be confused with other conditions.
Treatment with levothyroxine tablets is usually easy and effective.
Treatment is usually for life.
Have a blood test once a year if you take levothyroxine tablets once your dose has become stabilised.
Further help and advice

what gemstone are you??

2007-09-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

Your Gemstone is Orange Saphire

Courageous, optimistic, and successful.
Your confidence helps you handle the ups and downs of life

What Gemstone Are You?

wow what a week to be thankful!!!

2007-08-30T23:05:00.000-07:00

Well my medical mystery has been diagnosed with hypothryrodism-underactive thyroid gland.i used to weigh 160 now i,m at 107.and battling anorexia.However I am still going to work. So on to
THANKFUL THURSDAY

This week I am thankful for being able to go back to work,
I am thankful that I am invited to my sisters wedding,
I am thankful that my daughter's boyfriend of two years was allowed to come visit us for a week.
I am thankful that my husband was home for our 9th anniversary.
I am thankful that I get to be a big part of my friends baby's life.
I am thankful for the ipod that my husband got me,boy was he sneaky,he picked his own gift a new reciever for upstairs to watch t.v.
I am very thankful for the new car we purchased today.
But most of all I am thankful for God's love which is never ending,for all of the things we have been blessed would not have happened without his love and guidance

my cousin had their baby boy!!!!!!

2007-08-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

On august 22 my newest little member of my family was born.they names him Troy_____ parkinson.

Happy 9TH Anniversary Bill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!August 27th

2007-08-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

i LOVE YOU WITH EVERY OF MY BEING, YOU HAVE MADE ME HAPPY THROUGH ALL THE TOUGH TIMES AND IN SICKNESS AND HEALTH WE ARE STILL HERE 9 YEARS LATE.MANY MORE YEARS TO COME. LOVE YOU

must be invisible or lost!!!!

2007-08-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

hey everyone i'm stil here hanging in blogger land too as well as facebook.

love the movie and the song

2007-08-22T23:44:00.000-07:00